December Loving

Old words, new words.

What if we let the silence speak for us instead of dancing around what we won’t say?

Could you stay

And take it

Like the good girl you claim to be

Show me without moving

Tell me without speaking

Exactly what you want

There’s a knot in my favorite chain

It’s tangled in a sea of

Fake silver and gold.

I’m told it’ll turn my skin green

Like envy

It seeps into me.

I don’t want to be hardened

Put me back in my garden

It’s where I belong.

There, the earth sings me songs

Of better days, kinder skies

Greener grasses and her soft eyes

Looking back at me.

Get out, get out, get out of my head

It’s felt like days, weeks, months since I’ve left this bed

With no company to keep but these words

That act like worlds at war.

My body feels torn

Like a battlefield you’ve stormed through.

Who is the enemy when you’re at war with yourself?

And when I close my eyes, she is the person I long to see. The one who reminds me I am magic all on my own. I can see her with my eyes closed and hear her in the silence.

I tend to close my eyes when I want to be lost in a combination of memory and fantasy — she is both and I am in awe.

You might forget the way my body begs for you — time isn’t kind to the mind. You’ll never not know where to go if given a map of my body.

Come back to me now, won’t you meet me halfway? I miss you; I’m so sorry. Baby, please.

I am love sick. Help me sweat it out.

It’s like you’re searching for my soul

The way you

Glide your hands

Across my skin.

Please stop once

You’ve gotten

A grip

On my hips

And your head is buried

Between my legs.

The way to my heart

And soul isn’t through my stomach

Go lower

Move slower and

Deeper, please.

Let your mouth

Lead the way.