perhaps my mind moves too quickly, or maybe it’s my mouth that’s too slow — but i know something’s changing inside of me. it’s as if wires were cut because my brain gets stuck sometimes while i’m talking. i’ve been chalking it up to all the weed that i smoke. when i choke on my words it’s like it’s not me speaking. and i’m thinking it’d be best to stay quiet for awhile.

and on nights when loneliness is louder and colder than the whipping winds outside my window, i hide myself deep into my bed. locking heat beneath my sheets, of course she crosses my mind. and for a moment i’ve transcended time, space, gone to the one place no one else knows about but me. and i hope to dream of her again.

Happy New Year — A winter storm for the new year Is exactly what I needed. Bury me. I want to feel the weight of it all. Scream from the base of a mountain Only to let an avalanche Crush my bones Into dust As fine as the snow I let Kill me.

Pacer there once was a girl who paced up and down the hall. she raced thoughts trapped in walls made of flesh and bone. I watched her roam from within myself.

We’ll call this one, “Silent Night” — I used to dream. Always blended with what’s real And what could be. What could have been. And then, It stopped. I hopped off the train Once boarded each night And now take flight in a pitch black sky. I used to dream. But I’ve stomped them out. And have every morning for months, Checking notifications on a screen Instead of reading in between The lines of my mind.

delicate fingers trace my skin and i hold my breath in as if it will stop time eyes closed like chapters in books i’ve read far too many times this is my favorite part read it again and again and again i miss the sound of you